Talking & Listening

It's important to stop, look & listen to kids

Your kids talk to you. But do you really listen to what they are saying? Or are you busy checking your email, planning what you're going to fix for dinner or thinking about a situation at work?

How can you show your child you are paying attention? Follow the same advice you gave her when she was learning to cross the street:

• Stop. If your child has something important to say, it deserves your full attention. If you can't give it now, set a time. "I have to make a phone call in five minutes. If you wait until after that, I can give you my undivided attention."
• Look. You may learn as much by "listening" to your child's body language as you do to her words.
• Listen. You may want to repeat what you are hearing. "You were angry when Sara got to stay up late."

Reprinted with permission from the January 2011 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2011 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Lawrence E. Shapiro, How to Raise a Child with a High EQ: A Parents' Guide to Emotional Intelligence, ISBN: 0-060-18733-6, HarperCollins.